You want to know what is indeed a disaster waiting to happen? Try not taking into consideration the level of relationship you have with people you are thinking of choosing as members of your wedding party. We have seen and heard about our fair share of side-eyes, neck rolls, and blatant disregard to couples’ requests. However, there are simple and easy ways to select the members of your wedding party. We are sharing what we see couples do often. We are also sharing a few characteristics to base your decisions on when deciding on your wedding party.
Don’t use position as a deciding factor
We once had a bride choose a member of her bridal party because she was her cousin. Her mom had asked her to include this cousin because when they were little they were raised together. The issue was that once they got to the age of high school, they grew apart. Of course they were still family, they just weren’t besties. She did attempt to explain to her mom that she really didn’t want to include her. But because her mom really wanted it, she conceded. She said time and time again that it was the worst decision she made regarding her wedding. The cousin made so many unnecessary things difficult and sometimes impossible. This decision caused division within the group and the family, and placed a little stain on the memories this bride has surrounding her wedding.
Don’t choose out of obligation
When you base your decisions on what you deem an obligation and not what the actual necessity is, it may not end well. Choosing someone for your wedding because they previously chose you is not a good idea. You should feel honored that they wanted you to stand beside them. However, them asking you does not make it mandatory for you to ask them. That is indeed a disaster waiting to happen. If you have a special connection with them, you can ask them for other things. Consider having them as a person(s) you get advice through from time to time. You can even give them a special task, like hosting a Sunday brunch or a girls’/guys’/couples’ night out. Just be sure you aren’t forcing yourself into a commitment you don’t trust. Again, it may not end well.
Take into consideration your actual relationship status
Basing your decision of who you want standing in agreement with you on actual relationships will fair far better than those you aren’t certain about. You want to have confidence in your wedding party to do what will be needed to help get you down the aisle. People will always surprise you when it comes to weddings and funerals. These are events that deal primarily with the heart, so it is understandable. Imagine how much more difficult things can get without that level of confidence. You want people who are dependable, reliable, and loyal to you. If you can’t trust that they can handle whatever tasks come up or adhere to your requests, you aren’t going to enjoy your planning process. Anyone you ask to stand with you on your wedding day should have such care and respect for your union, that they take their responsibilities seriously for your day.
Now, we aren’t saying you are guaranteed to be drama free if you base your decisions on our suggestions of what to do and what not to do. We are saying that you have a better chance at a very happy and stress-free planning experience. The task of selecting the members of your wedding party does not have to be extremely hard. At the end of the day, you want to make certain that those standing in agreement with you at the altar have the heart to be there, with you.
Until next time…
be sweet & happy planning!
~Tish
(photo credit: Simone Elise Events and Elizabeth Hoard Photography)
Premier Wedding Planning and Event Studio Owned by Husband and Wife Planner and Event Designer Team Darius and Tish Clay. Simone Elise Events offers Wedding Day Event Management Services, Full Service Wedding Planning Services, and Wedding and Event Design Services for all your Wedding, Social, and Corporate Events. Simone Elise Events caters to Weddings and Events in Memphis Tennessee and surrounding Tennessee areas.
For more about us, visit: simoneeliseevents.com/about-us
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